(2 minute read)
“All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgement and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.”
(Dr. Brene Brown)
Dr. Brené Brown, is a U.S. based research professor who shot to Netflix and TED Talk stardom following the release of her bestselling book, Dare to Lead.
Amongst the many inspirational and research-based accounts shared by Dr. Brown, it is her encouragement for us to never undervalue the assumption of positive intent that has shifted so many of her readers and followers.
While we can become frustrated and anxious when the inattentiveness, or forgetfulness of a friend or colleague can let us down, Brown encourages us to consider the genuine possibility that ‘everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have.’
Adopting this belief can radically change our personal and interpersonal relationships.
This concept did not originate with Dr Brown. Indeed, it has been explored by a range of religious, spiritual, and wellness practitioners. The famed and admired Deepak Chopra sagely reminded us that, “People are doing the best that they can from their own level of consciousness.”
This can prove a hard concept for us to swallow. Offering, “I’m doing the best that I can”, sounds like complacency, a cop-out, or an excuse – especially when we come from a perspective of judgement. In fact, research presented in Dare to Lead, identified that only 50% of people interviewed by Brown’s team believed others were doing the best they can.
An Exercise to Try (to help combat judgement)
Within her leadership workshops, Brené Brown hosts an exercise where she asks people to write down the name of someone who fills them with frustration, disappointment, or resentment.
Then she proposes this scenario: ‘Accept that this person is doing the best they can’.
It’s worth a try.